Born of sorrow so deep
I cracked beneath the
weight of it...only to
find at last I could
see.
Peering through the crack
I saw Grace staring back
at me.
I have lived through these
moments and will be
given more before it is
finished.
Looking through the crack
I saw a small light...
golden in color and though
it was just a tiny spark
down a long tunnel,
I felt the stirrings of hope.
Hope had never left me.
Grace was still showing
me the way...
What do I do with a
sorrow born so deep
I can barely breath?
I pick at the crack...
I want to see more,
feel more,
do more....
And die again and again
from the sorrow if I have
to...
So that I may see who I
really am.
I hold the chards of the
sorrow in my hand...
each one different, but
belonging to me...
born across many lifetimes
and still I embrace it.
What other course is there?
If I run from it I will never
feel sorrow again. Or joy,
or passion, or creativity,
the breath of my grandchildren
on my face as they lean in
close to hear the story being
shared. I will never feel the
freedom of watching a bird in
flight. Or live life.
So for now, Sorrow is my teacher.
She has brought me to an
unfamiliar and foreign place
but I will look deeply and
with reverence...for it is
here where I need to be.
And that golden light at
the end of the long and
narrow tunnel will burn
brighter, with each chard
I place in my hand.
Until the real me is standing
fully exposed...with chards in
hand...ready to be the warrior
again.
I will walk through this sorrow!
And I will become an elegant
weave....
4/3/2010
AWS
6 comments:
AWS,
Holding you close. If sorrow is where you need to be right now, I can honor that. But you must know that you are not alone to face the dark. Indeed the light is there. It is the reflection of the love that shines for you and for many.
Loving you and wishing you God's speed as you make the transition from you to more you.
It is where I need to be Mary...and I am so honored and full of respect that you are holding me, as it is what I deeply crave and need at this time.
The light that shines is you and the many other Sisters who make their way here and to all the heartsongs we all share with one another.
Your names are my Grace and my Hope.
I truly need to feel this now...I am slowly coming out but I am doing it that way for a reason as I never want to feel this again.
Thank You for your Understanding Love...
Akasa,
As you piece your shards of sorrow together and embrace it as whole and a part of who you are and who you are becoming, it will become your companion but not your master. Those who endure great sorrow must have great courage and great strength. You will find the courage on your way through the tunnel and your strength burning brightly at the other end.
(((Akasa)))
Thank You Pam for the strength of your words...
I am not out of the tunnel yet...
So many emotions and feelings swirling around in me that I've never felt before but I hold them.
If not for my Sisters I don't know that I could endure this.
May courage and strength be speedy.
I don't like being here.
Thank You Beloved!
Sister,
This is so bone honest and you know the wisdom of the bones.
You are a Keeper Of the Bones and you so wisely heald them in your hand and gathered their teachings.
Yes, sorrows are sweet for they teach us so much more.
But Joy follows the mourning and each day begins anew.
My Dear One...All is as it should be...and we move forward.
Feel my embrace...
Ama
My Dearest Ama...
Thank you for that reminder...it is divinely sent. How lovely that it comes through you my long time Sister...
I do feel your embrace Ama and thank you for it. Each moment will bring a bit more strength, a bit more light to light my way as I truly feel I am in deep learning mode here.
It is a new day and with it I am sitting in the silence ever listening to the messages being brought to me...I especially needed to hear the Stone/Bone Peoples speak through you just now.
Namaste'
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