Saturday, April 3, 2010

Born of Sorrow....

Born of sorrow so deep

I cracked beneath the

weight of it...only to

find at last I could

see.

Peering through the crack

I saw Grace staring back

at me.

I have lived through these

moments and will be

given more before it is

finished.

Looking through the crack

I saw a small light...

golden in color and though

it was just a tiny spark

down a long tunnel,

I felt the stirrings of hope.

Hope had never left me.

Grace was still showing

me the way...

What do I do with a

sorrow born so deep

I can barely breath?

I pick at the crack...

I want to see more,

feel more,

do more....

And die again and again

from the sorrow if I have

to...

So that I may see who I

really am.

I hold the chards of the

sorrow in my hand...

each one different, but

belonging to me...

born across many lifetimes

and still I embrace it.

What other course is there?

If I run from it I will never

feel sorrow again.  Or joy,

or passion, or creativity,

the breath of my grandchildren

on my face as they lean in

close to hear the story being

shared.  I will never feel the

freedom of watching a bird in

flight.  Or live life.

So for now, Sorrow is my teacher.

She has brought me to an

unfamiliar and foreign place

but I will look deeply and

with reverence...for it is 

here where I need to be.

And that golden light at 

the end of the long and 

narrow tunnel will burn

brighter, with each chard

I place in my hand.

Until the real me is standing

fully exposed...with chards in

hand...ready to be the warrior

again.

I will walk through this sorrow!

And I will become an elegant

weave....

4/3/2010
AWS

6 comments:

Merry ME said...

AWS,
Holding you close. If sorrow is where you need to be right now, I can honor that. But you must know that you are not alone to face the dark. Indeed the light is there. It is the reflection of the love that shines for you and for many.
Loving you and wishing you God's speed as you make the transition from you to more you.

AkasaWolfSong said...

It is where I need to be Mary...and I am so honored and full of respect that you are holding me, as it is what I deeply crave and need at this time.

The light that shines is you and the many other Sisters who make their way here and to all the heartsongs we all share with one another.


Your names are my Grace and my Hope.

I truly need to feel this now...I am slowly coming out but I am doing it that way for a reason as I never want to feel this again.

Thank You for your Understanding Love...

Pamela Jones said...

Akasa,
As you piece your shards of sorrow together and embrace it as whole and a part of who you are and who you are becoming, it will become your companion but not your master. Those who endure great sorrow must have great courage and great strength. You will find the courage on your way through the tunnel and your strength burning brightly at the other end.

(((Akasa)))

AkasaWolfSong said...

Thank You Pam for the strength of your words...
I am not out of the tunnel yet...
So many emotions and feelings swirling around in me that I've never felt before but I hold them.
If not for my Sisters I don't know that I could endure this.
May courage and strength be speedy.
I don't like being here.

Thank You Beloved!

Sandra said...

Sister,
This is so bone honest and you know the wisdom of the bones.
You are a Keeper Of the Bones and you so wisely heald them in your hand and gathered their teachings.

Yes, sorrows are sweet for they teach us so much more.
But Joy follows the mourning and each day begins anew.

My Dear One...All is as it should be...and we move forward.

Feel my embrace...

Ama

AkasaWolfSong said...

My Dearest Ama...

Thank you for that reminder...it is divinely sent. How lovely that it comes through you my long time Sister...

I do feel your embrace Ama and thank you for it. Each moment will bring a bit more strength, a bit more light to light my way as I truly feel I am in deep learning mode here.


It is a new day and with it I am sitting in the silence ever listening to the messages being brought to me...I especially needed to hear the Stone/Bone Peoples speak through you just now.

Namaste'