Morning Has Broken

This morning I awoke with a
sense of renewal...a sense of
joy and happiness I haven't
felt in a long time.  Yes, I
am joyous everyday for the
most part and love the early
morning as I rise to greet
each day and the miracle of
it, but today was just different.

Over and over this morning the
song "Morning Has Broken" has
been playing itself in my head.
When I used to attend church
we would sing this every Sunday
morning...it was our opening
song.  So when I awoke this
morning with this song playing
in my head and I went to the
door to greet Father Sky and
Mother Earth it was with the
realization that each morning
we arise is truly a miracle.

We've come from the Land of
Dreaming and crossed the
doorsill into the Awakening
and we have brand new breath
coming into our bodies...

That my friends is Glory and
Grace!  So this morning, I am
still singing this beautiful song
and will leave you with it...I
hope you join me in singing it
and realizing the Brand New
Day we have been given to
rejoice and be glad in it!

Rainbow People...

Rainbow People....

Whisper

Whisper...


Teach me gracious Father and Mother

to whisper,

when the world rages all around me.

Teach me patience in my whisperings so

that they will be heard,

not as a breath of silent air,

But the still small voice, soft and golden

which lives inside us all.

Teach me that grace comes in quiet moments,

when inner peace is attained at the end

of a long day, or an even longer journey.

Always Father and Mother, as I whisper

your beloved names, may I feel

in that Holy and Golden moment,

the wondrous essence of Your presence,

pure, crystalline Love - the Holy Love

that whispers my name,

And I know that I am safely guided

home to You.

I shall always whisper Your Names.

Amen and Awoman

©  Akasa WolfSong
     2/18/2008

If we turn the spirit inward, we acquire
the power of discernment.  Through
the power of discernment we find
our way to the Truth.

~Ramakrishna~

To My Grandmothers...

To My Grandmothers

One was German
big and buxom.
Had white hair that
was tinted blue.

She smelled of Oxydal and
fresh sheets blowing
in the wind in her yard
of the Housing Project.

She was forever baking
that Old One.
Raised ten children so
I guess she knew how.

Her house smelled of
coffee brewing and bread baking
and blueberry pie you could
sink your heart into.

She had big ears and hands
and feet and a lap you could
climb up onto and sleep yet
she'd just hold you.

She was patient and kind
and had a button box so
big it would blow your
mind but she'd let me play,

In that box or standing at
her dresser where there were
always treasures, lipstick,
hair nets, perfume and her hair

Always stuck in her comb and brushes
laying on the dusty doilies as
I'd plunge my hands into
her sweet smelling dusting powder.

She was always nurtruing, taking
care of the world around her
and I was there to watch her
ways and spirit them away

So that now I can take her out
late at night, or on a rainy
day and remember that bosom
that was so soft and safe.

I hope that she comes to take me
to her special place as I cross
over to the other side to be
with the grandmothers of all time.

The other was little and flighty,
wrinkly and sick.  Maalox
always surrounding her lips.
She was French and oohlala!

Could she be mean when it
was warranted but yet she
called me her guardian angel
as she lay on her deathbed.

She bore my mother and gave her
to Death so young.  Seems like
she was cursed with sickness
and found things hard to overcome.

I always thought her special because
she was my mother's mother.  I
remember all the times we spent
together, singing songs and dancing,

And making meat pies for hours on
end.  We'd eat till we were so
full we thought we'd never
take another bite, but cleaning

Up we'd have one more.  Then
go lay down on the floor till
resting was done and we'd get
the giggles and "oh my god,"

She loved to tickle and to goose
and be just plain silly and loose.
But she could be mean the old ancient
one, always something on the tip of her tongue.

She drove that damned old Rambler
with the push button drive with the
windows rolled down and her
hair plastered tight,

By an old silk scarf tied under
her chin and I'd look at her
and begin to grin.  Then by God
the stories would start to pour

Forth from her mouth and she was
always right or so it seemed because
she was my Grandma and I
held her esteemed.

She taught me to cook and to
keep a clean house, to do the wash
and iron a blouse, but she taught
me much more than that about

Life, the hard ways.  To keep
pushing on even on dark days
and for this I remember and honor
her spirit and hope on my deathbed

She calls to me from the river
where she stands on the good
Red Road, waiting for me so
I can unload, the burdens of this

Life and get on with the good
to embrace the Ancient Ones and
be understood and when my children
come to me..........

I too shall be standing on the
other side, under a shady old
tree with my grandmothers by
my side, waiting to meet them
for the very first time.

© Akasa WolfSong
   2/3/2000

The Awakening...

The Awakening...

A time comes in your life when you

finally get it.  When, in the midst of

all your fears and insanity, you stop

dead in your tracks and somewhere

the voice inside your head cries out.

ENOUGH!  Enough fighting and crying

and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after

a tantrum, you blink back your tears

and begin to look at the world through

new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and

waiting for something to change, or for

happiness, safety and security to magically

appear over the next horizon.  You

realize that in the real world there aren't

always fairy tale endings, and that any

guarantee of "happily ever after" must

begin with you...and in the process a

sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not

perfect and that not everyone will always

love, appreciate or approve of who or

what you are...and that's OK.  They are

entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and

championing yourself, and in the process

a sense of new found confidence is born

of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other

people for the things they did to you -

or didn't do for you - and you learn that

the only thing you can really count on is

the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say

what they mean or mean what they say

and that not everyone will always be

there for you and that everything isn't

always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and

to take care of yourself...and in the

process a sense of safety and security

is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers

and you begin to accept people as they

are and to overlook their shortcomings

and human frailties...and in the process

a sense of peace and contentment is

born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and

different points of view.  You begin

reassessing and redefining who you are

and what your really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting

and needing and you begin to discard

the doctrines and values you've outgrown,

or should never have bought into to begin

with.

You learn that there is power and glory

in creating and contributing and you stop

maneuvering through life merely as a

"consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty

and integrity of a bygone era, but the

mortar that holds together the foundation

upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything,

it's not your job to save the world and

that you can't teach a pig to sing.  You

learn that the only cross to bear is the one

you choose to carry and that martyrs get

burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love.  You learn to

look at relationships as they really are

and not as you would have them be.  You

learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations,

and outcomes.  You learn to distinguish

between guilt and responsibility and the

importance of setting boundaries and learning

to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your

feelings aside, smoothing things over and

ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple.

You begin to care for it and treat it with

respect.  You begin to eat a balanced diet,

drink more water, and take more time to

exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear,

and uncertainty and so you take more time

to rest.  And just as food fuels the body,

laughter fuels our soul.  So you take more

time to laugh and play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get

in life what you believe you deserve, and

that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling

prophecy.  You learn that anything worth

achieving is worth working for and that

wishing for something to happen is

different than working toward making it

happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order

to achieve success you need direction,

discipline and perseverance.  You also

learn that no one can do it all alone, and

that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly

fear is fear itself.  You learn to step

right into and through your fears because

you know that whatever happens you can

handle it and give in to fear to give away

the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to

squander it living under a cloud of

impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you

don't always get what you think you

deserve and that sometimes bad things

happen to unsuspecting, good people...

and you learn not to take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you

and that everything isn't always

sombody's fault.  It's just life happening.

You learn to admit when you are wrong

and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such

as anger, envy and resentment must be

understood and redirected or they will

suffocate the life out of you and poison

the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take

comfort in many of the simple things we

take for granted, things that millions of

people upon the earth can only dream

about:  a full refrigerator, clean running

water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for

yourself by yourself and you make

yourself a promise to never betray yourself

and to never, ever, settle for less than your

heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to

keep trusting, and to stay open to every

wonderful possibility.

You hang a windchime outside your window

so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you

take a stand, you take a deep breath, and

you begin to design the life you want to

live as best you can.

~Author Unknown~

Yesterday late afternoon as I was going

through my file cabinet searching for

something, I pulled this up thinking it

was something else entirely.  Knowing

all things are synchronistic, I began to

read this once again.  It spoke volumes

to me once again.  So I thought I'd

share it once again, and once again

...I am Awakening.

A'Ho!

My Inner Child....

My Inner Child was wounded a
million times it seems and so
over the course of my life I had
forgotten who the 'she' of me
actually was.  It wasn't until the
past 15 years or so that I have
finally allowed myself to connect
with her on a very visceral level.

Today...the sting of hurt can come
creeping in at the most inopportune
times, (or so it feels) but in reality
it is always the perfect time as I
am learning even at my age to
embrace the now moments as they
come.  So today is one of those
days where I hold myself gently.  I
have been sitting and rocking her,
talking softly, and just 'be'-ing.  I
love that child, the one who had
so much love to give...and
somehow I came to this song
this afternoon.  I don't believe in
coincidences so the Blessed
Universe must have known I
needed to hear this beautiful
song....and I embrace this too,
fully and without reservation.
For my 'holy' self, for my whole
self, for my loving self. 

Love Yourself Too!

Enjoy and Embrace...

Remembering and Rejoicing...

I've been sitting here this morning
thinking about my soon to be
six-year old Grandaughter.  I am
having a time of tears and laughter
as I recall the day she was born.

Born two months premature, she
was the tiniest creature I'd ever
laid eyes on!  Her little hands
were about as big as the first digit
on my little finger. Her skin was
very fair, almost translucent and
I just stood and studied her for
what seemed like an eternity.  Of
course she was in an incubator
so I could not pick her up and
hold her, but had I been given the
opportunity to at that moment in
time, I'd have said no?  I was
scared to death to hold this
precious little bundle in my arms
for fear of hurting her.  Delicate,
fragile, white whispy hair, she
somehow seemed otherworldy to
this Grandmother who thought
she'd seen just about anything
there was to see.

Well, she has grown up to her
full six year old body and is
still full of that emerging early
energy she came here with...
funny, outspoken, comedic, and
yet sensitive, kind, and a
wonderful mixture of male/female
balancing of her energies, I look
at her now and think this child
is a study in contrast and it
causes me to smile and smile
rejoicingly!

She is my little fashion diva,
a lover of playing in the dirt,
with trucks, marbles, and sticks,
she loves flowers and cannot
help but picking them, she is
equally enamored of nail polish,
make-up, hats, fake tattoos,
and ooey-gooey cakes.

She has learned to call me now
on the phone and calls most days
to say "hello Grandma, whatcha
doin'?"  I have begun to leave
messages on her phone with
funny songs like "I love the
Weini Man" or pretend to be
someone else and sometimes
am able to fool her, which is a
stitch...and leaves me breathless
from laughing so hard.

So My Little Dolly...as we
celebrate your day on the 23rd
of this month, I am sure like
today I will be sucked back into
the time vacuum remembering
and rejoicing the little you that
you were and then being catapulted
into the now of your becoming...all
willowy, bending with the flow, with
graceful limbs reaching outwards
to reach new experiences and new
heights as yet unexplored...

May your journey always be one
of delight, and joy! 

You are loved and my beloved!
Grandma

Serenity and Snow

I'm sitting here this morning and all is

serene and quiet...the snow is softly

falling down and I have my mother in

my awarness this morning.

She died 46 years ago today.  I miss

her still.  I don't have that visceral,

gut-wrenching, I can't go on without

her feeling anymore, as I did when

I was a child and moving on into my

adulthood but still I miss her deeply.

And every year at this time I make

time to give her an honoring...for

having been the vessel I chose to

reach this Earthly Plain, for being

a vessel to learn lessons, and

ultimately to teach me that life

does indeed continue after death.

She has at times presented herself

to me in the here and now.  I can

feel her here with me and have since

about six o'clock yesterday evening

when quite unexpectedly, I began to

think of the last time I saw her alive.

That scenario played out in my mind

for a good little while, but it wasn't

like in years past when I would just

want to coil up into a ball and cry

myself out of it.  This year...I feel

at peace with her leaving and yes,

finally some serenity.  I know that

she is where she is supposed to be,

just as much as where I am supposed

to be, and I swear she is here with

me now...

So today I am going to go through

old pictures, let her be in my

awareness, feel her presence,

embrace Mother Love, and just

enjoy the serenity and the snow.

Somehow the painting by Frank

Howell touches upon the way I

am feeling this morning...entitled

Winter-Cloud...

For You My HeartSongs....

Walk In Beauty....

The Earth Choir Sings...

I'm sittin' here this morning enjoying all the

wonderful songs of the Earth Choir outside

my kitchen window...I love the melodies

the birds bring to us if we take the time to

sit and truly listen.  All distinctive, all in

resonance with one another, some taking

the lead, others bringing in the chorus, and

I am reminded yet again, humans are much

the same way...

I've spent the past few days just 'being.'

It has been restful and restorative to my

spirit.  I kept thinking I should be putting

something up here for those of you who

do read and then I thought well....are

there rules to blogging?  Must one blog each

day?  Do we always have to talk about

self?  Do we have to talk about issues of

heart?   And because I was sitting in the

silence of my own 'being' what I heard

from my higher self is that I can do

whatever I want...whatever feels good.

Whatever nurtures...

So this morning I am going to enjoy the

beauty of the day...much like I did

yesterday...enjoy the sunshine on my

face, relish the cool air, watch the birds

fly...and listen to the lessons they bring

me...not to worry about today or what

the next day will bring...I will just enjoy

this one glorious moment.  I will let the

Blessed Universe worry about those things.

I hope you do too!

Grandmother Spider...

During my morning musing I see Grandmother Spider busy weaving away...Spinnerettes working finely and in tune with the next body part.  All things working together for the highest good of all. 

As She is Weaving I see the web She is spinning...bringing more and more Sisters of Like-Mind and Spirit together...each with a web of her own...all singing the same heartsongs...but with a definitive 'special' strand that is all her own.  Their own story to share, their own definition of self and how they warrior their way throught it.  How blessed I am today to be able to see the beautiful webs shining in the morning sun...

I realize that we are all connected in a huge way this morning...more than I usually think of it (which is a lot!).  How in mirroring to one another we can help relieve each other in ways that matter hugely.  If but by a kind word or deed, a compassionate lending of an arm to help support, a hug to warm the lonely and battered.   A bowl of soup to feed the hungry in spirit and in soul. 

Valentine's Day is wonderful, but this Love concept should be in our awarness at all moments in time.  We should be busy spinning...especially when there are sooo many out there who don't even know what it is to be loved, honored or treasured.  So in this moment...I'm just saying and sharing...I love you!  Wrap yourself up in that and wear it like your snuggly blanket...I'm sending out more love today...and it feels so good I'm going to weave it around myself too.  Grandmother Spider has woven us all together....let's catch the unsuspecting ones and weave a web of love around them...it can only enhance the strands that connect us!

A'  (the sound of the heart)
Ho! (the sound of completion)
A'Ho!

Just sharing...

Within us is the soul of the whole, the wise silence,

the Universal beauty, the eternal One.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

A note from my Grandson-

I've always been afraid of my dad.

Afraid he would come in my home and

hurt me and my mom when nobody

was there.  I cry in the middle of

the night because I've always thought he

was coming for us.  I sleep with my

slingshot under my pillow so he cannot

hurt me.

I call out to all the children reading this.

You are not alone.

You really do have power.

~Firekeeper~

How does this tie in with Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote?

We are all connected.

We are all part of the vast beauty of the

Beloved Universe.

I had an epiphany while reading my

grandson's words to share....

he is not the only one who sleeps with

protection under his pillow.

Protection real, or imagined, we

line our dreams and sleeping

with universal prayer,

the comfort of a loved one close by,

promises of a better tomorrow,

a treasured blankie.

We all are part of the whole.

Happy Valentine's Day

Sending out...

  Divine Love,

  Ancient Mother Love,

  Spirit Sister Love,

  Universal Love,

  Ancient Father Love,

  Familial Love,

  Spirit Brother Love,

  Love to the Earth,

  Love to the Sky,

  Love to the Waters,

  Love to the Animals

  Love to the Elements,

  Just so much love to go

  Around...let it be....

  Honorable, Uncontained,

  Joyous, Deep, Gentle,

  Kind, Compassionate,

  Peaceful, and....

  Without Cease.

  Dancing Love Today!

  Celebrating Love Today!

  Sending Love Today...

  And...Everyday!

 

 

Breaking Barriers....

Yesterday, late afternoon, as the sun was
sinking in the west some thoughts were
sinking in my mind, about barriers.

We all build barriers.  Some of them are
physical barriers and others are those
we build in our minds.

We build them to protect ourselves to
keep harm from coming to us.

Some barriers we can tear down after
the harm has immediately left us and
some barriers we carry for years.

I was specifically thinking of my
grandson, who at an early age began
to build physical barriers around
our home when he heard his Dad
was on his way to get him and he
did not want to go.  And in
retrospect, I see that he was 
building them not only in the 
physical aspect, but in his mind
as well.

He would begin furiously by 
grabbing whatever he could find -
belts, rope, his little table and
chairs, chairs to my kitchen table,
and would intricately begin to 
weave a pattern with them.  He'd
build one by the back door, or at 
the landing by the stairs up to
his room and he'd say 'Grandma,
he won't be able to get through
this!'  

When I think of that now, my 
heart shatters as much as it did
back then.   He has come such
a long way since then.  He is
learning through the use of 
words to stand up for himself.
We are working together to
learn how to empower in a
good way how we use words
to benefit ourselves.  That we
don't have to sit quietly by
while someone abuses us in
any manner.

He is however still a child, and
children don't have a voice in
what happens to them in an
adult world usually.  They are
told what to wear, think, act
like, at any moment of the day
and all inflicted upon them by
the families or tribes they live
in, and the court systems who
seem to shuffle them around,
while they get lost in the cracks.

No wonder they build barriers.

Barriers to protect their pysches.

Barriers to protect themselves
physically.

Barriers to protect their spirit
and soul.

It is time to tear down the 
barriers and give these children
who've been living in pain
since birth, a voice, a life free
of living with the scar of a belt,
the whiplash of a soul
perpetrating hurt and pain
on another soul.

I lived it.  Many have lived it.
I'm breaking down the barriers.

For myself, for my grandchildren.
 

Remembering...

I don't remember how old I was...
perhaps around eight or so.

It was bedtime, and I remember
my mother calling me out into
the living room where she had
made a bed on the couch to sleep.

She asked if I'd lay down with her.
In my mind I was thinking all sorts
of crazy things as this was not
something my mother did.

My mom was a very closed-up
woman.  Life had beaten her
down to a shadow of herself at
a very early age...so she very
rarely spoke to us, except to
tell us to do something, or to
scream at us because she was
afraid of life or so I feel in my
heart at this point in time.  I
know if she were here now, she
would agree with me.

So anyway, she was holding a
kitchen knife in her hand and
put it under her pillow, laid
down, and then had me lay in
front of her, spooning me.  She
whispered she was afraid that
my dad would show up drunk
again, and do something stupid.

My father was an alcoholic all of
his life...never to be depended
on...and at this point in time
they were going through a
divorce.  Fact of the matter was,
he was just plain out of body
most of the time.

So my mother's fears were my
fears, you could feel it permeate
our home.  I could have taken
the knife we were sleeping with
and cut the fear hanging in the
air, and she had every right to
be afraid.  When I look back on
her life with him I am amazed
she made it to the age of thirty.

Wow...to be dead at thirty really
hits me hard.  Who can give up
at thirty?  But I know that is
exactly what happened.  So many
life happenings for her she just
gave up.  Too overwhelming.

And this scene has been replaying
itself over and over in my mind
the past few days...how my mind
was feeling as a young child
trying to make sense of the world
she had been born into, the fear
of a mother who was ill-quipped
to handle life and by today's
standards would be deemed
manic depressive at the very least,
and how I learned at an early age
to become the warrior woman I
am now.  I have been through all
of that and more but I rise the
victor....


I am victorious!  I have life scars
I can wear proudly.  So why am
I thinking so much of this night.
The night my Mommy put a knife
under her pillow and asked me
to lay down with her?  I still
feel that fear as if it were
yesterday...

And right now, I wish with all
of my heart she were still here.
I am pretty sure she would be
proud of the me I turned out
to be.

I still love you Mommy...and I
thank you for the life lessons.
That fear has its reason in our
life, but we must keep pushing
on...even on dark days.

So this morning, I will lay this
remembrance to rest, it has
walked across my heart too much.
A new day is before me.  The sun
is shining brilliantly, and the snow
is crystal brilliance.  A purification
of my soul.