Breathing Deeply

Breathing Deeply...

I picked up my Grandson
yesterday and he was not
his usual self...him and his
Momma were at odds with
one another...she needed
a break and he wanted to
stay at home...oh boy!
Here we go I'm thinking
but not to give voice to it
I said, how about we go
and wash Grandma's car and
vacuum it out and then I'll
take us out for lunch...how
would that be?  He agreed
so we were off and running.

First we vacuumed, then ran
through the wash and I, spur
of the moment woman that I
am, decided we'd quick go down
a few country roads near where
I live and as we were driving
I shared with him that this is
where my heart is FireKeeper...
out here in God's country...
where the fields have crops,
the birds fly freely, the wind
races, the roads have hills and
curves, and one can hear the
tree frogs at night along with
crickets, swooping bats, cicadas,
and the like.  I had lived in the
country a few years before he
was born, next to a horse farm,
and I have been missing it...it
is a freedom feeling kind of
thing for me.  To walk out of
your door at dawn and walk
about listening to the Earth
waking up and checking out
just everything...a time of peace
and gentle morning sighs...

At any rate he just watched me
and quietly asked questions...
good so far...he was coming out
of his funk.

We finally arrived at our favorite
lunch spot and ordered and then
pulled our car out to our place we
like to park in...on the outside
perameters of a huge parking lot,
where we usually sit and watch
the birds play, doors flung open
when the weather permits and talk
in between bites.  Which is what
we attempted to do but I could
tell he did not want to talk about
having to do his homework and
get it done when we got back to
my house....ahh...there is lots
of stuff we have to do in life that
sometimes we don't want to do
Bud, but we just have to do it
anyway as in the long run it is
beneficial for us.  I could hear the
wheels a turning in his head and 
they were saying, blah, blah, blah,
blah...

Big sigh...I had the distinct gut
feeling this was not going to go
the way I wanted it to go?
Patience Grandma...weave the
thread of patience...and so that
is exactly what I did all day.  It
was not easy because I wanted
to get tough, but at this point in
time he is still raw with wounds
from his father and so I kept
gently weaving the threads...

By the time we arrived home I
had said 'time for homework
now' and he instantly got an
irate attitude and started the
blame game...his teachers were
trying to frustrate him...none of
the other kids have to do this
stuff, and another blah, blah,
blah....tune it out!  Nothing I
tried or suggested was going to
motivate him to get 'er done.
He did two pages and quit, end
of story...grabbed his papers and
pencil...wadded them up and
jammed them in his backpack
and then layed down on the floor
madder than a wet hen!  So I let
him be for a while...and then I
pulled out the Grandmother Guns.

Firekeeper...do you know how
much you mean to me?  Do you
know that when you born I made
a vow to undo the violence in my
family that I lived as a child, that
your mother lived as a child and
that you are now living?  I'm
still working on that vow, and in
order for me to keep that vow
alive I need you to be on board
with me getting stronger every
day, pulling up your inner strength,
and listening with your heart and
not the lies your father has told
you about you being stupid, dumb,
etc.,   What I need you to hear
and remember is how powerful,
beautiful, wonderful and smart
you really are.  That you can do
anything your heart desires.  I
want you to know too that smart
people ask questions if they
don't understand something.  The
ones who don't ask questions are
those who simply aren't interested
in life.  I know that you want to
live a life that is full!  And all the
while I am sharing these things,
he is inching himself up off the
floor and finally he is in between
my knees laying his head on my
heart and I am hugging him.
Now I'm crying...and I let the
tears come...I do not hide my
tears from him or anything else.
This child is an Old Soul...I see
it in is eyes, I hear it in his voice,
I even hear it in his laughter as
though it is an Old Man laughing
his he he he...

I then suggested he go outside
and take down last years bird-
feeder and throw it in the trash
as we need a new one...he did.
And while he was busy with that
I went out and picked up a smooth
flat stone and put it in my pocket.
Just before he was ready to go
home I asked him if he'd like me
to do Reiki on him and he nodded
yes...he just loves Reiki!  I told
him that maybe we could start
doing Reiki once a week so he
could de-stress and he agreed
that it would be a good thing.
That being said, the healing has
begun....
Lastly, I pulled the stone out of
my pocket and handed it to him.
I shared that in those moments
when he was feeling unsure of
himself or afraid, or just plain
frustrated, to worry that stone
with his fingers...to ask that
stone for Inner Strength...that
stone will help you find your
Inner Strength FireKeeper.  Let
it be your personal 'wotai'...
your power stone, the one who
calls to you.  By the time
FireKeeper left he had a smile
on his face.  I hope he put it
in his pocket today.

He's still My Hero!
Fire Keeper