Remembering Mother's Day

Ah Yes...Mother's Day...

I've been mulling this over
and over in my mind since
last Sunday.

One of those days that is
hard for me to move through
as my own mother crossed
over so many years ago...
I was eleven at the time.

Often times I try to remember
Mother's Day when she was
still alive and I cannot recall
anything I ever made for her
in school or even celebrating
it with her....to me that leaves
me feeling rootless but...this
year I sat with that in my
memory and decided to take a
different turn this year.  In the
past few days this is what I
feel I have come to learn from
my Mother...

When she left me so young I
learned how to become strong
even though at times I felt weak.

She taught me the value of
the lessons of my heart in that
I did not have to be a closed
off person like she was.  Always
holding things inside and never
speaking her authentic self.

When she left my sisters and I
she left me in a world of pain
and hurt but I learned that truly
there is joy and grace from
somewhere deep inside that pain.

She taught me to keep a clean
home and body to the point of
it being an obsession or
compulsion but I have learned
as I grew that while it is
wonderful to have a clean home
it is also the place where I can
be myself and if it gets messy
I can clean it up...life is messy!
It took me a long time to learn
this one, even with children,
pets, and guests.

She taught me the beauty of
music and how it fuels my
spirit and soul and sparks me
to creativity.

She taught me that death is
so much a part of life and has
visited me in my Dreamtime
as well as in my waking hours.

She taught me that I don't have
to use rage and anger to correct
my grandchildren...unfortunately
that wasn't the case with my own
children, but I will not beat myself
up over and over and over again
for the lessons I learned along
the way.  More fortunately, my
children now see how important
it was for me to break that cycle
of violence in my lifetime, so that
my grandchildren can experience
Authentic Love coming to them
via their Grandmother.

My Mother taught me so much
more and I thank her for her
Sacred Contract with me today...

I would not have become who I
Am had we not contracted with
one another...

And I thank the Most Ancient
Mother of us all for guiding me
along the way...

Happy Mother's Day Mom...
I will always love you and
miss you.  Thank You for
the many lessons!